A thought.

My header image is way too big. I feel like I have a bigger ego than I actually do.

Anyway tonight my best friend asked me if I worried that my tattoo would some day turn around and be angry at me for not giving her a face. This is actually a deal of great concern. I thought about it for ages and it really distressed me. As incredibly stupid as this sounds. For the record, Lara has the White Rabbit on her left wrist. His face is facing Lara.

I remember my father asked me why I chose the back of Alice. I said something like, well, it's the picture where she's looking up at the Cheshire Cat, and I always thought her dress looked cutest there. But now I feel like I've violated Alice. Misrepresented her somehow.

Yesterday morning I woke up with the biggest hangover of my 21 years, and that is making a statement. I awoke on my back (I can't fall asleep on my back although it is possible that I can awake on my back) and saw my light fixture. It came with the house and our landlords told me to feel free to change it if I wanted to because it's hideous. I suppose it is- in all it's 1970's pearly glass halfbeachball glory-but it's grown on me. Anyway, it dawned on me that the full Victorian skirt of Alice's dress is identical, shape-wise, to the light fixture. Was I subconsciously inspired by this horrible object? There are so many Alices to choose from. I hope I didn't choose mine for the wrong reason.

Maybe getting the back view of your childhood heroine on your left wrist is a dumb idea. Does it have bad connotations? Am I telling people that I'm actually far removed from Alice to ever relate to her again, when all I wanted to do was be close to her forever? Am I ashamed of what I currently look like to someone I once modeled myself on?

I'm going to bed.