you're alone on a dancefloor well not entirely alone your friends were here but now they're not or some of them are around somewhere and he smiles at you and you don't know what to do you shouldn't smile back but you do and then it starts he's holding your hands between his and you dance together for the better part of an hour slow and fast and you fall over as he spins you around and you laugh together and drink together and you think why oh why am I having another when I can barely stand and when you're dropping the glass the drink came out of and smashing it and the glassie is angry at you and then the lights come on and you kiss against the bar and faint disgust sets in it's all so sordid suddenly disgustingly distasteful and you're saying yes yes come back to mine to finish this conversation that is so good what are we talking about again it doesn't matter and you're on the street because you've been thrown out it's so late it's five okay that's not that late then and there's no taxis of course of course why do we need a taxi of course of course let's just walk hand in hand and it will be beautiful then before you know it you're home and in bed and you can't sleep with a stranger in the same bed as you so you go hunting for sympathy and crawl into your housemates bed and he asks why do you do this everytime why do you bring boys home and go sleep elsewhere you say it's a bit like sleeping in your parents bed when you were a scared kid it's sad you know but you have to just get away from it all sometimes
4 comments:
WOW. Reveal all.
Though I can't say i have had that experience i'm sure it's a hard one to fight...
But into your housemates bed??? they must love you...my bed is like the last bastion of my personal zone...invites only :P
Ah…Liquid Courage can often lead to circumstances that require either decisive action or immediate collapse. The landscape between those two is where life’s most uncomfortable moments transpire.
I can see it all…the spinning lights of the Cabaret Night while the burn of the last drink lingers just on the tongue-tip of memory and the firm feel of strange hands on your skin makes you believe that you have more power than you thought and you drift off to unfamiliar horizons that harbor the quays which will serve as the casting off points of all past misgivings. And all you wanted was a Moment, just one.
And now…you have it.
But the question remains: What will you do about it?
I really do reveal all. I only write from life. I am shameless.
Hard to fight? Explain?
My housemates and I adore eachother. I'm a bit funny about my own bed but everyone else's is up for sleeps, as far as I'm concerned. I have super double standards...
...hard to fight meaning...the biological urge vs the moral conscience.
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