you are falling.

I am in water. How did I get here. I don’t really question myself. That’s the trouble. That’s how I got here. That’s how. The water is cold. My legs are over my head. They find sand. Then it’s gone again. Is that my knee hitting my chin. It is. Whiteness. Then blue murkiness again. I could do without the particles scratching me. They’re in my eyes now. Sand or shell bits? My legs are everywhere. My legs are nowhere. I open my mouth. Dumb thing to do. I taste many flavours. None of them pleasant. Mostly salty. Some acidic. There’s a lot of time to think down here. I wish I could see some fish. Do they know that I’m panicking. I try to remain cool. I’m naked now. I think. Still in underwear hopefully. Where did my friends go. Did they get out. Are they around me. Can they see me. I can’t see anything. I’m tumbling forward and backwards. Bobbing up and down. For the violence that my body is undergoing my mind remains calm. I wonder what I will do when I reach the shore again. If I do. If I’m naked. I don’t really know these friends that well. Are they as drunk as I. If they’re not will they laugh. It’s important to remain calm. I swallow more water. This time on purpose. My stomach starts churning. I think it’s because of the water. Or the non-stop lurching forward and backwards. Up and down. Think about something calming. Am I still wearing shoes. They are nice shoes. Heavy too. If they find my body they’ll think I had a death wish. For a fleeting moment my head emerges from the water. My eyes are swollen. I can only see colours. I think that’s someone near me. I’m close to the shore. I thought I was far out. This is embarrassing. Something has me by the waist. It’s a man. I can tell by his hands. My flesh is exposed. He’s pulling me out. The night air is colder than the water was. I am in underwear and leather jacket. Ruined.